Teen years can be brutal! If Olivia Rodrigo’s song rings loud in your heart, you are not alone.
Growing up is never easy, we are insecure, anxious about everything and a single blemish can crush our ego. We need so badly to have friends who’ll love us and for us to love back, but we can’t even love ourselves!
So what’s self-love?
It may feel awkward, but let’s do a little test.
- Are you proud of yourself?
- Do you believe in yourself?
- Do you accept yourself for all the good and bad?
If your answers to these questions are an astounding “YES!”, then that’s wonderful. You truly love yourself and you can challenge yourself to love others as much.
If your answers are “no”, then don’t be afraid. You’re not alone. 9 out of 10 teens feel the same way. In fact, even queens of self-love like Lizzo and Selena Gomez both struggled with the same issue.
I still don’t get self-love. Why do I struggle with it?
As teenagers, there are two sets of voices we hear; the voice in our head, and the ones we hear from our inner circles of parents, teachers and friends.
The outside voice we hear from our social circle is one we may have no control over at times. However, there are ways we can change that. We can be easily affected by this outside voice. If it does affect us negatively, we need our inside voice to speak up, and speak loud.
How we talk to ourselves with the inside voice speaks volume of our self-esteem. Our self-love and self-esteem is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves, and sometimes we may need a little boost to our confidence.
What if my self-esteem is low?
Most of us don’t feel great about ourselves all the time, and that’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad. What’s important is knowing how to pick ourselves up. There’re quite a few ways we can do this.
Free yourself of negative outside voices
Sometimes it’s hard to do so, especially when the ones hurting us are people close to us. Use your voice to create a safe space by shutting those voices out.
“I have insecurities of course but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out to me.” – Adele
Choose to stay with positive voices.
Listen to the ones who care about you and choose friends who support and guide you. It’s always easier to work with people on your team, then to do things alone. Join our Care Chats at Shadee.Care and let’s support each other.
Listen to your inside voice and understand it.
What is your inside voice saying? Are you criticizing yourself a lot? Write down your thoughts for a few days and read them aloud. If you don’t feel good saying it aloud, your words are hurting you. Try rephrasing those words. For example, instead of saying “You did a terrible job”, try saying “I can do better”!
Accept yourself as you are, only then can you really love yourself.
As sung by IU in her latest song, self-acceptance is necessary to start loving yourself. Be unapologetic about loving yourself and be proud to be you.
So now, look yourself in the mirror and say “ You are awesome, just as you are”