I had planned to take my life a few times but there was always something that was eating at me or interfering with the plan.
The first time was when a friend called me randomly when I was in the midst of it and I kind of felt bad so I didn’t proceed. Another time, my mother walked into my room without knocking. Then there was once a random aunty who wanted to ask me a question. It came to a point where it felt like the universe was stopping me from doing it??? I know it sounds stupid but it feels like there’s something out there. I’m not very religious but if there’s a God out there, then maybe he’s trying to help me?
Anyway, I kind of gave up in a good way. I am still here and yea sometimes the thoughts come back but they feel kind of habitual with no real power over me. So I just brush them aside.
Yea, so there’s also a cactus on my desk which I stare at whenever I need strength. I want to be a cactus in my next life cuz they are super resilient I feel.
