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Losing friends?

When losing friends is part of the pains of growing up.


Have you ever lost a friend? Maybe you both had a silly fight that ended in a cold war. Or everything fizzled through complicated misunderstandings. Now that school is starting again, chances are some friends will no longer be with us.

You’re not alone in losing friends. In fact, most of us will lose friends throughout our entire lives. But that’s not the end. That’s the beginning of our personal growth.

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Reasons why we lose friends

While losing friends is more common than you think, the emotions that ensue is not easy to grapple with. We get heartbroken, angry, disappointed and confused (one more than the other or all at once!), yet we may not even know WHHHYYYY we lose friends.

Fret not, we’re here to clear the air with 5 simple reasons.

Everyone changes.

When we first meet our friends, we may bond over similar likes, activities, hobbies or opinions about life. When we can get excited over the same thing or have a common understanding about a situation, chances are. Over time, our likes and dislikes change, as people are constantly changing. Sometimes, we change to grow even closer. Other times, we simply grow apart.

Self-discovery

Some times we change because of circumstances in our lives. We discover new aspects about our-selves or about life and we may no longer be the same person that we were. Hence we may find that we no longer see eye to eye with those that we used to hang out with . Some times our friends change because of situations that they go through and we may find it hard to understand them.

 

Proximity

Ever feel like you’re really lost after skipping a few days of school, especially when your classmates have started on a new chapter of A Maths. While we can easily catch up on schoolwork if we put in the extra time to study , accommodating to breaks in friendship may not be that easy. If we keep disappearing, ghosting or going AWOL, it would be hard to keep a friendship. After a long holiday of being apart it’s normal to feel awkward when we meet again. But if we have friends whom we can pick up right where we left off even after a long absense, you will know that that is a friendship for keeps.

Why are we even friends?

If you ever feel this way, it may be a sign your friendship isn’t ideal. Once the acquientance period is over, we start to understand each other and see the true colours of each other. So if you’re uncomfortable with certain friends, it’s ok. We all need time to learn about ourselves and of others too. It cuts both ways, some of your friends may feel that way about you too. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s just a very human and normal process.

Quality VS Quantity

Simply put, the fewer friends we have, we more time we have for each friend. That means we’re building deeper, strong bonds with our friends. These are the ones we want to stick around, to weather through thick and thin together.

Losing friends = Growing up?

It may not make sense but gaining and losing friends is part of growing up. Think of it as a trial and error process that everyone goes through. Because we’re humans and we change, we’re always getting a little closer to understanding who we really are and who our friends really are.  That means learning from all kinds of experiences, even painful ones.

We may or may not be “at fault” when we lose friends, but what’s important is HOW we deal with that loss. Based on why we lose our friends, we can learn more about ourselves, the people around us and the type of company we really like to have.

Have you lost friends? How did you feel and what did you do to feel better? Share with us.

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