Think amazing and super talented Kpop stars don’t have problems with their parents? Think again! Like us, they were children once with different views and dreams, some of which resulted in conflicts.
As we grow into adulthood, some of us may find that our career choices may differ from our parents especially if it’s in a field that is uncommon or viewed as uncertain. Sounds familiar? Some of our fave idols have plenty to share (and for us to learn) when resolving these tricky situations.
BTS’ RM – Well thought out and sensible choice
BTS’ RM faced objections from their parents when he chose music as a career. RM knew that his strength was into music and was was very honest with his mum about his school results. Ranked at 5000 in academic results in South Korea would mean a long and hard road in the corporate world. He asked his mother if she’d choose being ranked 5000 in studies or number 1 in music. When his parents saw that his decision was rational and well thought-out, they eventually supported his choice.
RM’s parents like most other parents, just wanted to see him happy and succeed in life. In fact, when RM was challenged to take up leadership for BTS he ‘ran away from home’ 6 months before BTS’ debut! We would expect his parents to try to convince him to drop his music career at this point but they did otherwise. His father spent over 2 hours encouraging and convincing RM to go back and we are all glad that he listened to his dad. With RM’s leadership, BTS is clearly the most cohesive groups in the Kpop world. We are all encouraged to know that RM appreciates his parents for their support and shares his success by giving them a credit card with unlimited use!
Red Velvet’s Wendy – compromised
Coming from a very wealthy family, you would imagine that Wendy’s parents would swing behind her choice to be an idol. However, her parents objected to her pursuit of music as they wanted her to focus on advancing her studies. Honestly, it’s not difficult understanding why as Wendy was a stellar student, receiving an award from former President Barack Obama for outstanding academic achievements and leadership. While we see only the glitz and the glamour, life as a celebrity does not come easy and has it’s risk. Besides, she was only six years old when she showed an interest to pursue music as a career. Her dedication to music subsequently won her parents over, and she waited till she was old enough to audition while in high school. Today, she’s incredibly successful with her launched solo album “Like Water”. In addition, she donated plenty of her earnings to organisations like Community Chest of Korea and supported a local donation drive for abandoned dogs.
Stray Kids’ I.N. – Negotiated
Like the rest, I.N. faced objections from his parents when he shared his dreams of becoming a singer. But, instead of giving rejections upfront, his father made a deal with him. Get in by the end of the year or go back to school. To I.N.’s parents’ surprise, he passed his auditions with flying colours and got accepted into JYP Entertainment!
BTS Suga – Kept their love
Suga’s parents were not keen on music as a career for very practical reasons, his family grew up poor and they hoped for their son to work as a civil servant, earning regular paychecks. Furthermore, they didn’t understand rap as music and forbade Suga from exploring his musical talents. As a result, Suga ended up writing his songs secretly and even got conned by fake producers!
The deep rift in their relationship however mended when his parents took the initiative to attend one of his concerts in 2016. At that concert, Suga bowed down infront of the whole crowd and broke down in tears. Suga understands now why his parents were against his choice career in the beginning and he has let go of the bitterness of those early year.
Let’s talk about you!
Growing up and everything that comes with it is tricky. Add on a dash of differing parental views and it can get even harder to stomach.
Sometimes, our parents run on a different track for our life’s plans simply because we don’t talk to them about our dreams and ambitions. If our parents have high hopes for us to pursue a certain career then letting them into our real plans can be tricky but it does not have to be unpleasant.
When we want something really badly, communication can break-down as both sides get too emotional to explain their thoughts clearly. Let those emotions settle first then take the time to clarify the misunderstanding and clarify each other’s concerns. Try the Burger approach. Though the example here is for breaking news about poor exam results, the approach is very much the same. Be gentle in the beginning and at the end and let in on the meaty disappointing news in the middle.
Looking at parents of the Kpop idols, we can see that they really wanted what was best for their child although blinkered in many ways. Listening to our parent’s concerns, making compromises on both sides and showing that we can be responsible for our lives can change the situation and get our parents to be our greatest fans.
For those of us with no burning passion or a career of choice, you are not alone. Many of us get so caught up focusing on getting those ‘A’s without really knowing what it’s really for. Hey, the world is your oyster, you just need to explore a bit and dream a little. Here’s how you can create your destiny and work towards your dream.