Boundaries.
As I mentioned in the previous entry, factors like the actions of others are out of our control. Seeking support from others is not always easy. No matter how effectively we communicate our experiences, feelings and needs, sometimes our loved ones are simply incapable of offering the kind of help we need.
In moments like this, when we feel like this is proof we are unworthy of support, it is important to remember that our best is enough. After you tell your loved ones about your recovery journey, then they are responsible for communicating how they can or cannot play a role in this.
You are not to be held accountable for their response. And managing our expectations of others can be an important act of self-preservation. It is not personal, though! Not everyone has the capacity to be a pillar.
Though, we do have to establish some hard limitations for the sake of censorship. There is no one-size-fits-all rule to this, so everyone has different limitations.
Yes, I would not start a deep conversation about intergenerational trauma in a crowded fast-food restaurant. Absolutely, I would not share my disordered thoughts during a meal. Of course, I would not share weight in numbers or photos of self-inflicted injury.
Maintaining clear boundaries can keep others safe, but it always prevents the person sharing from triggering themselves.
Sometimes, we feel guilty for sharing upsetting information that makes others empathise with strong negative emotions. Sharing doesn’t have to be scary and dangerous if we treat our private information with care. Conversely, trust your gut: if you think they are trustworthy, it is worth trying to share this part of you with them.
One of the greater purposes of sharing about mental health is to develop a deeper bond with someone. So, being willingly vulnerable can lead to highly positive outcomes like forming a solid support system and feeling accepted.
For more targeted practices, self-help resources, and peer support, check out SG Support Group on Discord.
🤍,
Kim
