How do humans and demons love? My Demon, Kdrama on Netflix starring Song Kang and Kim Yoo Jung has been keeping viewers glued with the plot twist in every episode. Yet each character remains consistant in their character arc especially in the way they show love. How do you express love? Are you human or demon?
We take a dive to understand the different attachment styles of the key characters in this Kdrama.
Do Do Hee
– Anxious Attachment
Heiress to a huge business empire, having lost her parents at a young age, Do Do Hee is the adopted child of business magnet Joo Cheon Sook, chairman of the Mirai conglomerate.
Blaming herself for the death of her parents and having to fight for acceptance in the Joo household, Do Hee demonstrates Anxious Attachment patterns in her relationships with those she loves. She refers to her adopted mother, Chairman Joo, as the Almighty Joo. A godlike reference and with inability to accept Joo’s fallibilities.
Her fear of being abandoned by the people she loves is antithetical to the person that she is in different situations. Her love for Gu Won, (the demon) though pure and sacrificial is both needy and clingy despite being a very successful business women herself. She crumbles in his absense.
Noh Seok Min
– Avoidant Attachment-
The eldest son of Chairman Joo fell out of favour with his mother for his delinquent behavior which resulted in a jail term. He never forgave his mother for not bailing him out. Bitter rivals with Do Do Hee both for the love of Chairman Joo and the business, Seok Min is cold and distant with his wife and child. People with avoidant attachment style tend to be very emotionally independent to the point of rejecting affection. While his relationship style could be considered to be avoidant attachment, there is clearly a lot more psycho-pathological factors underlying his abusive behavior. Considering the lack of motherly bonds displayed by Chairman Joo, Seok Min’s destructive parenting style could have been the result of the role modelling by his own mother and perhaps also likely magnified by other personality factors.
Jeong Gu Won
– Secure Attachment
A 200 year old demon that entered into a contractual marriage with Do Do Hee to help her attain her inheritance but ended up actually falling in love with her. Gu Won, supposedly a demon, ironically demonstrates the most secure attachment style.
Though it took a while for him to realise that he had actually fallen in love with Do Do Hee, he was comfortable demonstrating his affection openly, with gifts, spending time and wanting to do couple things with Do Hee. While the marriage may have been contrived at the start, he was able to form a genuine loving and secure relationship with Do Hee over time. He was not afraid of trusting that the love Do Hee had for him was sincere and true.
Gu Won demonstrated sacrificial love for Do Hee time and again and finally even leaving her, thinking that it will save her from hell.
In My Demon, it’s interesting that the Demon is able to love unconditionally, while the human characters struggle in different ways. What do you think the screen writers are trying to say?
What is your attachment style? How do you approach relationships? Are you more human or demon?
It’s important to be honest with ourselves even if our attachment styles may not be like Gu Won. There are always ways to change the way we express our affection to build better relationships. Read this article to understand your attachment style.