Chris Martin, the frontman of Coldplay has seen some really dark days and experienced depression. However, he advocates that if we look really carefully, life shows us a sky full of stars and it’s not all darkness and doom.
Speaking to BBC Radio 1, Chris shared how he navigated life when it all seemed like there was no ending to hardships and pain, and when the sky looked like a vacuum of darkness. Here’s what he means:
“If you can’t open yourself up, you can’t appreciate the wonder inside. So you can be with someone very wonderful, but because of your own issues you cannot let that be celebrated in the right way.”
When we love ourselves, we open ourselves up to loving other people. Loving ourselves from within is difficult, especially if we don’t know where to begin.
A good way to start is by asking ourselves what our emotional triggers are. A trigger is a person, place, thing, or situation that elicits intense or unexpected emotional responses and may cause us to relive a past trauma or unpleasant experience. Our past experiences shape the way we react to these stressful situations, and if not coped properl,y could leave us feeling more emotionally drained.
Figuring out why certain things trigger us can help us gain acceptance and closure over the situation. Talking to a trusted adult or even a therapist can also shed some light on the situation.
Being okay with getting hurt
Being honest with ourselves can be scary, or even frustrating, especially when our plans get foiled by unexpected curveballs being thrown at us.
At times, we may ask ourselves “Why me?” or “Why now?”. Sometimes we may never find the answers to these questions, but Chris reminds us to shift our focus to reframing the situation and turning it to moments of growth and maturity: “What changed for me was – I don’t want to go through life being scared of it, being scared of love, being scared of rejection, being scared of failure”.
Instead of questioning the universe why something happens to us, perhaps we need to start by asking “What is this situation trying to teach me?” and “Who am I becoming in this situation?”
Our answers may surprise us or show us a bigger perspective to the problem at hand. And once we get those difficult and hurtful thoughts and emotions out of the way, we will be in a clearer headspace to tackle the monsters in our way.
To really love someone means to accept that person for all that they are, that includes ourselves.
Read more on choosing to love yourself in tough moments:
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Image taken from Instagram: @coldplay