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ILLIT, dealing with haters

Super Junior's Shindong gives advice to Kpop girl group ILLIT on navigating hate and criticism


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Photos: @iam_shinstealer & @illit_official

For those of us who struggle to find self-love or confidence, we may look for external validation which actually takes us further away from self-acceptance. Whenever someone didn’t like me or I wasn’t part of a certain clique, I would hate myself even more, which resulted in a vicious cycle.

In an episode of the ‘Knowing Brothers’ ILLIT’s Minju and Wonhee shared that they struggled with such issues too:

Wonhee: “I think I’m caring too much what other people are thinking because I was a trainee for a short term.” 

Minju: “I don’t have thick skin, so I feel I’m affected by comments too much.” 

Image taken from @illit_official

Understand why people hate

Prejudice

In the case of getting hate or not being accepted into a friend group, one could take it negatively and perhaps categorise themselves as unloveable.

However, not everything is as black and white.

Schemas is a mental framework where our brains are wired to compartmentalise things and people, so that we can quickly understand and process what is happening around us.

There are many reasons why some people show hate. It could be because we remind them of their own insecurities or hurts. Sometimes it’s simply that we don’t have anything in common. Whatever the case is, stay confident in yourself. When you are ok about not having everyone liked you to like yourself, you have shifted to self-love.

The brothers advice to the girls was to focus on the positives rather than mull on the bad:

“I hope you guys could weigh positive and supportive comments more.”

Image taken from @illit_off

Confirmation bias

Confirmation bias refers to the tendency to look for information that supports one’s prior beliefs or values.

Most of the time haters lean on confirmation bias where they fixate on their own opinions and are not interested in  considering other alternative explanations.

With this understanding, we can decide whether or not we want such people’s validation and acceptance.

Super Junior’s Shindong advice is to show others’ who you are and your strength:

“What you can do now is to prove them wrong by showing your talent. Practise hard and show off your talent.”

Self love helps us to be confident in showing our strengths and talents. We would also be able to see validation (from others) may not be as important than our own perception of self!

Image taken from @illit_official

Read more to understand about prejudices and biases:

Aespa’s Drama, handles name-calling and labelling.

Perspective Taking

Perspective Taking

Blind spots

Blind Spots

 

Image taken from Instagram:

 

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