Billie Eilish: ‘Hit Me Hard and Soft’.

Who is the real Billie Eilish?

https://i.giphy.com, @billieeilish

If hair colour is anything to go by, Billie Eilish has had many ‘eras’ since ‘Ocean Eyes’.  She shared with The Rolling Stones magazine that she doesn’t regret any of her eras, despite making some unique choices back then.

‘Hit Me Hard And Soft’ is a retrospective take on the journey that Billie Eilish has come thus far as a person.

Image taken from Instagram: @billieeilish

What is Billie Eilish made up of?

Billie went through a period of soul searching during the pandemic.

“I was with myself so much that I couldn’t see myself objectively anymore. I dyed my hair blond and I immediately was like, ‘Oh, I have no idea who I am.’’ An indication of her search for self , distracted by superfluous superficiality.

Replicating that experience, was the theme song for Barbie, “What Was I Made For?”. Billie shared that her life revolved around the song for so long, she was totally immersed in the attention it brought. But after all that limelight, she felt forgotten.

“Every second of every day is Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, Barbie, which is great, but as soon as the Oscars are over and I lose…… I’m literally gone.”

Being known for our talents and abilities is super rewarding as it means we are recognized for what we are good at. But who are we without all that? Do our  grades, popularity and profession define us?

Image taken from Instagram: @billieeilishWhile

Who is Billie Eilish behind that ‘mysterious charm’

While Billie appears unflappable, she shared that she was actually afraid of letting people know her genuine self.

“I’m afraid of people, I’m afraid of the world. It’s just scary for somebody like me, and even if it’s not scary, it means being on and being vulnerable and being seen and being filmed and whatever.”

She confessed that to keep herself emotionally safe, she hid behind the charm of appearing mysterious.

“I used to be so obsessed with this mysteriousness, and I think that’s 100 percent why I didn’t make any friends, because I didn’t want anyone to know me, because I wanted everyone to think of me as this mysterious, cool person. I loved the idea of people feeling that way, but then I thought, ‘Oh, here I am sitting alone in my room, loving the feeling that everybody thinks I’m really cool, but I’m not actually getting anything out of that. I’m not enjoying anything in my life at all.’”

While being mysterious is interesting it also sucks out all the fun and connection that you can have with the people around you.

Billie took a leap of faith and decided to face the scary monster of letting people in, and figuring out how to manage friendships, relationships, and her personal journey to discover herself.

“I was obsessed with the idea of being an anomaly, being this Billie Eilish character. Anyway, I have since thrown away that idea, and been hanging out with people. If they get to know me, that’s OK. That’s good.”

Image taken from Instagram: @billieeilish

What’s at the core of Billie Eilish

You might think that with the world twinned around her fingers, Billie should be happy and grateful for where she is.

“My whole life, I’ve never been a happy person, really. I’ve been a joyous person, but not a happy person. I experience joy and laughter and I can find fun in things, but I’m a depressed person. I’ve suffered with a lot of depression my whole life. I’ve always held on to is ‘Well, it’ll pass. It’ll come in waves and it’ll get worse and it’ll get better.’ And that’s always brought me comfort.”

Depression is often a misunderstood disease. People diagnosed with depression are often not ungrateful and most do not choose to be sad. While some may take a while to journey out from the disorder, some just have it as an inner core. Billie is one who has accepted that, yet still finds joy and fun in doing things.

Image taken from Instagram: @billieeilish

Billie has come a long way from her ‘Don’t smile at me’ days. We’ve seen her ‘ride the waves, get worst and then get better’. Through that process, she has certainly anchored a strong self-concept of who she is.

For those of us still surfing the high seas of emotions, it’s ok to surf the waves when we can and just float in the water  if we need a breather. Then just wait for the right moment to start surfing again.

Read more stories here:




‘What Was I Made For’, disillusioned and demotivated.

Growing Up and Getting Better: Billie Eilish

Stress out to chill out with Selena Gomez and Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish on how to talk to your friend about mental health.

Billie Eilish, 4 Grammies and only 18…Where does all the talent come from?

A cup of Espresso with Sabrina Carpenter

Damsel, shows Millie Bobby Brown’s strength and maturity



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