Social Media, boundaries and behavior

Navigating social media can be tricky with social media warriors piling on and blind cancel culture.

Here are some tips to help you have a better experience:

Social Media Boundaries

Having boundaries in social media is very important because whatever is shared to the world is no longer in our control. Here’s what you can do:

(1) Decide what your social media is for

Is it to share with just friends alone or open to everyone.

(2) Define how you want to be viewed by other people

It’s common to be misunderstood on social media because people don’t know us as a real person and not everyone sees every one of our post.

(3) Think through your message

Do not share anything on impulse or when you are emotionally affected. Remember that whatever is stored in the clouds lives forever.

(4) Clarify comments

Making comments can be misread and mis-interpreted especially if you do not explain what you are trying to say and do sufficiently. The same goes for other people comments to us. It would be good to clarify what they are actually saying before jumping to a conclusion.

(5) Call out unwanted behavior privately

If you feel like you need to call out a wrong comment or behavior, do it privately first. Give the person a chance to clarify the words and behavior. Doing so in public can cause other people to pile on that person. You don’t want the same thing to happen to you so be considerate with others.

Social Justice – To call-in or call-out

We often read a lot of comments from netizens calling out social media users for their words and actions.

Such forms of social justice may serve to protect marginalised people who suffer from discrimination and who are wrongly accused. However, what exactly is calling-out? When should we call-out another person and is there a better way beside public humiliation?


Calling-out is to bring to public attention, the harmful words or behavior of an individual, group or organisation.

Often calling-in is a harsh, public rebuttal to stop micro-aggression and hurtful behavior

A more compassionate approach is Calling-in, which is to have a serious conversation to friends who are displaying negative and harmful behavior.


Calling -in

Calling-in is to bring attention to the harmful words and behavior of people, groups of organisations,  that are biased, prejudiced and discriminatory in a private setting.


What to consider when calling-out of calling-in

Before we call-in or call-out a person, it would be good to

  • Check the facts of the situation.
  • Understand the motivation of the person making the hurtful comments
  • Look at context of when the words were said. Was it a bad joke or an abuse


When to call-out or call-in


  • When you have an influence over the person who is saying the hurtful words.
  • When you are assured you will not be harmed by this person
  • When you know that this person can be reasoned with and is open to recognising mistakes.


  • When the harmful behavior is going out of hand and there is an urgent need to stop it
  • When there is no other means of confronting this person without compromising your safety
  • When you have been unsuccessful in calling-in the person

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