Heart or head, which do we listen to when we make a decision? Choosing either one can mean a lot of painful loss and consequences. But staying in limbo and not making any decision will not get us anywhere. There is a better way, a more balanced and wiser way to make decisions that are sound and calibrated. Here is how.
(1) Ask yourself what do you really want?
If you had a fairy god-mother or a genie in a bottle who could grant you that perfect future. What would it look like?
- Imagine what your day will be like?
- What will you be doing in the day? What would each part of the day be like?
- Where will you be?
- How will you look and behave?
- What will your best friend and people around you, say about you?
- What are some of the things that bother you now and will not bother you then.
(2) What resources do you have?
Strengths – know your strengths.
- What do you like doing?
- What are you good at?
- What have you achieved and are most proud of?
- What are some of the good things that your friends say about you?
- What character strengths do you have? curious, funny, kind, thoughtful, caring, fun, strong, brave, protective, friendly, honest, helpful, independent, sociable, fair, patient, confident, creative, generous, tolerant.
- What are some of the problems in society
- What do people need and want.
- What are some of the trends in technology?
- What new opportunities are there now that was not there in the past?
- What does it take to be good at what is needed?
(3) Blind spots
Blind spots are the areas in our life that we cannot see and are not aware of. It’s usually an undesirable behavior, reaction or habit that is driven by our thoughts and believes about ourselves, other people or the world. Learn more about your blind spot here.
(4) Making wise decision
People often think that we have to choose between what our head says or what our heart wants. That is to either be completely practical and rational in our decision or to allow our feelings to point the way.
It doesn’t have to be either,
Emotional – How we feel, what we’ve always day-dreamt about
Practical – What can really be done and is achievable.
We think that the happiest decision are the once that includes both our head and our heart. Wise decision balances both practical and emotional aspects of what we want. The idea of the wise mind was first introduced by Marsha Lineham to help people who needed to regulate their emotions.
Here’s how to make wise decisions
- Set aside time. It’s never wise to rush into this exercise. To make wise decisions, you should not be pressured to have to make a decision within a certain time. Keep yourself calm and do some breathing exercises. Be mindful of your breathing and relax your body as you do so.
- Put aside all your preconceived ideas and prejudices. Write down everything you fear about or have unrealistic dreams about.
- Bring to mind your problem or area that needs a decision
- Think intuitively about your solution or your decision. Now, ask youself
- Were you mindful about the objective facts or the situations or problems
- Were you clouded by emotions?
- If you were too objective, you would have blocked out all your emotions.
Just remember, sometimes no matter how well thought out a decision may be, things may still not work out as planned. But at least you know you have put in all the thought that mattered.